Musings of an Unquiet Mind: Getting Unstuck

Photo: Queenie Maquilang

It’s been a while. No scratch that. It’s been a really long while. Every so often, I get caught in a state of stasis. It feels like I’m furiously pedaling a bike and life (at least the nastier parts) is smiling as it lifts my rear wheel off the ground.

It’s sad how dreams are left to gather dust when one spends so much time clock-watching. The days move on without you, and you just feel like you’re — well, stuck.

So, how does one get unstuck?

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I believe the first step is to accept that one is stuck. Whether it’s a matter of being stuck in a place, on a path or with somebody. One has to realize that flooring the gas pedal when you’re stuck in the mud isn’t going to miraculously get you out of your predicament.

Well, I am stuck on a path.

Did I choose this path? Well, at some earlier point in my life, yes. I can wail against all the reasons I can think of. I can let my frustration get the best of me. But, in the end, I chose this path and now I must decide with some finality to choose a different one.

The funny thing about literal and figurative paths is that we often think of them as being linear. If we find ourselves in a tunnel, we become bent on seeing what awaits at the end of it. A light? Well, for all we know, it could just be a brief break in the open before we go into yet another tunnel.

I hate tunnels.

Not that I’m claustrophobic or anything, I just hate the linearity that’s associated with them (even when they are curved or winding). This enclosure implies movement in one direction. A path that you may have chosen at some point, but has now constricted you to stay on it. And yet, we often convince ourselves that this is the right path. It is lit. The road is well-paved. It’s giving me a direction — forward.

I’d rather get lost than lose myself.

I am stepping on the brakes. See what’s around me for the first time in a long time. I would like to move on without necessarily moving forward. And it starts with dusting off old dreams and making sure that they are never put aside for more ‘pressing’ matters — ever again.