Glam Is Just a Four-letter Word

Like most Filipinos, I was born, baptized and welcomed into some form of Christian faith. As a man, a mostly unspoken 'macho' code was passed on to me – Don't cry in public (pretend to yawn). Treat women as you would your mother or your sister (lie to them to get out of something). Don't pluck your eyebrows (say you had a shaving accident). The list goes on and on. In my upbringing, sex and sexuality were not regular dinner table fare. I remember watching 'Ghost' with my Lola and finding myself staring at the ceiling when the film's lead characters were getting creative with pottery.

I thought I had outgrown the awkward elocutionary maneuverings around the... ahem, proverbial bush. But, I was wrong. Having gotten myself into photography, I found myself being drawn towards portraiture. I've spent the past three years in semi-serious pursuit of the craft. I've thankfully gotten to the point where I am confident enough to finally have people book me for sessions.

Admittedly, most of my subjects are women and with that I was introduced to the minefield landscape of glamour photography. The sexual and sensual aspect of glamour intimidated me at first. I found myself being transported to that uncomfortable moment in my childhood when my Lola asked me what I was staring at on the ceiling while Patrick and Demi were making something that sorta looked like a vase. The seven-year old Catholic boy, the happily married man and the artist coming into his own were debating the pros and cons of adding and developing this element into my photographic repertoire.

So, why the internal dispute? What is glamour photography after all? Well, there are far better answers from noted authorities on the subject, but allow me to elaborate on three points that I believe were vital to my understanding of the genre.

• Glamour, although it has been wrongly associated with it, is not porn. We can debate the difference between nude and naked all we want, but it all hinges on intent and context. If the intent is to show the sensuality and allure of the subject, then I say glamour. If the intent is to arouse and trivialize sex, then it is porn.

• From the point of view of feminism, I will to have to quote from an article written on the subject by Carol Dyhouse because I believe she perfectly put things in perspective —

'Does glamour empower women, or turn them into objects? It is important to remember that women practise glamour, they are not simply the object of the male gaze. And, historically, glamorous women were just as likely to be seen as dangerous to men as victims themselves. Glamour can represent self-assertion, sexual confidence, playfulness, pleasure and delight. But in the end, nothing empowers women so much as a good education and a well-paid job.'

• Lastly, if I may offer my own take on glamour it would be this - A glamour photo is first and foremost about the subject. As most subjects are women, the image should not only celebrate beauty, but the sensuality of the woman in the image as well. The subject bares her vision of how it is for her to show the aforementioned qualities and my job is to translate it into an image that measures up to her view. 

 

It was a drawn-out process of deliberation, but I've finally made the decision to pursue it. I gather that most people will misunderstand my intentions and misinterpret my actions. I understand that I have drawn a line in the sand where I now have to openly confront small-minded critique of any work that I'm going to put out there. In the course of undertaking this endeavor, I took the time to talk to the people who matter most to me in my life: my wife, select family members and my closest friends. And I assuredly have their full support, so I couldn't really care less for misguided and uneducated guiltmongering about sexuality (Yes, you don't have to tell me again because I already know that I am going to burn in hell. We can continue the lively discussion there.)

In fact, proof of this support is when my best friend, Maricel, agreed to be one of my subjects in building my glamour portfolio (hers are the pictures that are interspersed throughout this article). She and I developed concepts for the shoot. My wife helped me refine those concepts and supplied makeup and accessories on top of an encouraging smile. My good friend, Queenie, lent some articles of clothing and did the makeup for the shoot. The Baricuatros, Farley, Dia, Cacing and Komodo, welcomed us into their home and did not only offer us a beautiful and versatile location, but a hearty meal as well. And last but not least, a number of friends from work (Ailenn, Jinky and Sharajen) were present during the shoot and did not only provide great company, but helped me carry and move my gear as well.

And before I end this lengthy post, I would like to reiterate that in the end I am a portrait photographer. My mission has always been to create intimate and meaningful pictures of my subjects. If I had to call it anything just for the sake of classification, I wouldn't call it  glamour, but rather intimate portraiture.

As 2012 rolls in, I look forward to not just making more beautiful images, but those that give my subjects a beautiful self-image as well. Happy New Year everyone!

The Daybreak Diaries (1)

The dawn lost its promise of hope. I hadn't slept a wink, but I so desperately wanted to unshackle myself from the pile of pillows and blankets that were strewn on the bed. Without warning, a cold indifference seeps through the covers and into my skin. And just like that, I lie frozen in a constrictive cocoon as the rest of the world goes on with their lives.

Depression affects more people than most would believe. And even those who are afflicted are often trapped in a limbo of denial. All too often, it is left undiagnosed and dismissed as the product of an individual's overly developed sense of drama.

As a result of the social stigma attached to depression, many people choose to suffer in silence. On most days it requires less effort to smile and say 'I'm okay.' rather than have to unburden yourself on someone – a person who may genuinely care for you, but will fumble around with the how (because at this point you don't even know what would help) or a person who may have just asked 'How are you?' for the sake of being polite.

All too often one shuns the opportunity to stand up and share the turmoil that is brewing inside when you know that yours will be the only voice that will stir the comfortable silence. However, I have realized that  it takes but one soul to stand up and speak, so that the rest can be heard. I do not claim to understand depression in any professional capacity. What I share here are all culled from my personal experience with it – the crippling melancholy, the grueling daily struggle and the occasional small victory.

I do not pretend to have any answers. I am merely sharing accounts of everyday battles in a war that I have to wage until I draw my last breath. I am not even sure what I hope to achieve, but I strongly believe that this debilitating disease loses a part of its hold on you when you open up about it.

These are my daybreak diaries.

Watching the World Go By

Christmas Is All Around Me

Grown-up Christmas List

I shot this with my old Canon 350D. It has defied both time and shutter count as it is still pretty much truckin' clickin'. Truth be told, unless I closely scrutinize the images in my catalog, I could never immediately distinguish between the images that were shot with the aforementioned antique and the ones that were shot with the newer body.

I mention this because all too often people replace perfectly working gear for newer models just because they have the means to do so. It's their money, so why should I tell them how to spend it, right? I'm not really telling people how to spend their money. I'm just making a case for spending it wisely. I stick to this rule of thumb of sorts when upgrading my gear —

If your skill becomes limited by the equipment that you have, then it is time to seriously consider an upgrade. If not, then upgrade your skill.

Trust me, you don't want to be the guy with really expensive basketball shoes sitting on the bench the whole game.

39

Most walk these halls

Leaving only the dust of their feet —

Delible footprints from vacuous souls.

A few rise above the din

Of footfalls and empty proclamations,

Making their imprint last

Beyond what custodians can sweep

And time diminish.

Watching the World Go By

__________

 

 __________

The Blood Moon

Flash on, Flash off

Answers From a Song

I shot the above picture (of Rachel) while documenting the department's last road show at the St. Dominic Savio School in Cordova. The crowds and the changing ambient light conditions always make it a challenge to shoot pictures during the event.

I was making pictures of the demonstrations in the Forensic Chemistry room and found myself wracking my brain on how best to balance ambient light with flash (which was necessary in the darkened room).  There was blue cellophane over the fluorescent lamps to create a believable atmosphere of a TV crime lab. The classroom designated for the exhibit had bright pink curtains with the afternoon sun shining right behind them. And every time I bounced my flash off the low white ceiling, the mint green color of the walls would dominate the scene.

What to do?